I am officially happy

Man, I am officially happy,

1) I make money know which is nice cause I can use it guilt free.

2) My essay is done and it wasn't total crap go figure...honestly sometimes I don't know how an essay goes from 'oh my god this is crap... I don't know what I am doing and maybe I don't want to find out' to 'wow it is done and not total crap!'

3) In any case this really is an excuse to thank my girls who I know read this.

i) V, I am going to miss you immensely (yes I know I have other friends don't worry) . We are often on different pages of the same book and sometimes I think we speek different languages but we learn from each other and generally have a great time doing it. SMFBH!! GV!!

ii) A, like I said I am so lucky to have found you at this time in my life. You get it, you just do, not that we are like soooo alike, in fact I like our differences I can't be you and you can't be me but generally speaking we are a good mix. You make me relax about things I didn't know I wasn't relaxed about sometimes and you do it just by being you (seriously...weird!)

I am quoting Paris Hilton here... when asked what happiness was she said, Happiness is having your best friend by your side, because then it doesn't matter where you are or what you are doing.

Okay folks the sapfest is officially over. Oh and girls please don't feel the need to be sappy back no really I mean it, I know you love me ;)

Also it should be noted that I acknowledge the fact that I am blessed with a lot of really cool and chill people in my life right now and I think you all know who you are so I am not making a list....really I am not!

WTF

I've been working this job for like two weeks I guess. I pretty much like it. My boss usually pays me in cash, which is fine I guess. Today He paid me for two days work, which he convinently counts as only 7 hours even if I am suppose to come in 20 mins early and usually stay afterwards to clean stuff up but I can live with that, it's kinda flextime anyway. Today when he hands me my pay I am thinking the following, this is a little less than what I would expect, but he's the one with the calculator, besides it doesn't make sense for him to pay me unfairly, afterall I work for him so he will probabaly see me again right.

In any case I didn't think about it till tonight and then I broke out the calculator 7x7=49, WTF. No really WTF!! Now I can't remember exactly how many loonies he handed me but I definatly know that it wasn't that many, a little shy of $49. Damn my lack of mental math skills. Gees, I mean minimum wage is more than $7 so there is no excuse for paying me less than that, even if the tips are good. It's moments like that that make you realize the utitly of terms like WTF!!!!!!!!! Next time I will surely ask him sweetly to borrow his calculator before I skip home. But really....... WTF.

What is wrong with the world is....

When people ask me what I am studying I think, great here comes the long name which nobody understands and I am really not sure how to explain without rambling on and on…well it is an interdisciplinary program.... I am concentrating on international relations…. When I could say, actually what we do is study all the shitty things people do to each other, torture, genocide, war and why governemnt is good/bad and figure out how in the world things are ever going to be different while being told again, and again that the world is crap and that really any idea you will ever have has been tried and look how it is failing.

Then they hand you an assignment like, here, now go solve the problems of the world or explain in detail why we never will. So I am sitting here writing an essay about human rights, which is related to almost everything I’ve studied before. The question is something like, can a decentralized system of international law and diplomacy blah, blah blah, ever be fully effective at applying human rights norms?

And I am thinking well, if I’ve learned anything in the three years that I’ve been having this stuff hammered into my brain by author after author it is that, no system will EVER BE FULLY EFFECTIVE...EVER, like duh!!!

I am tempted to leave it at, No, it can never be FULLY effective and neither will any one solution as history seems to show us. Don’t get me wrong the world has made some progress... I think but really come on could there be a more depressing way of putting the question, I mean let’s face it fully effective is only possible in theories with other things held constant etc etc. (and even that I am sure could be put up for debate.)

However, I doubt the my mark for the assignment would be acceptable if I leave it at that succinct answer. So I am going to spend another 10 hours or so filling at least 10 pages to say what I’ve just said in roughly 10 minutes using real world examples and illustrating that I’ve read up on the ideas of some people who have been saying the same sort of thing after looking at the world through their international relations bubble.

Lunch Rush- You just have to keep doing what you have been training to do and try not to fuck up too majorly.

I have this theory that everything happens all at once. If you get bad news it will come with a bunch of other annoying bad news, which you will later find out was a result of some mix up and not actaully the end of the world looming ever nearer.

It is like the lunch rush, you get to work and it is not busy at all, at maximum one, maybe two, people come in. In any case, it is nothing you can't handle while still having some time to twiddle your thumbs a little. You may even be thinking, "come on give me something to test these skills out on." Then lunch time rolls around, and all of a sudden there are too many people to serve! Pretty much every table in the whole place is full, the glasses run out, the dishes run out, there is never enough time to pick up all the drity dishes when people are done with them, and sometimes you clear a table that you didn't even need to clear yet! It seems just a little chaotic.
When it is all said and done, even though you may think that you didn't do that great a job, most of the customers leave smiling. The restaurant is empty again and you are left to clear the mess that the masses have left behind. As you dust off the bread crumbs from the tables you realize that the sky didn't collapse, the store didn't explode and, even though some people had to wait a while for their water and ask you twice for their bread, at the end of the day you still get paid and they will probably be back to the restaurant another day and you will have to serve them again.

It's even weirder when you consider the some days at a restaurant or store or anyplace can be dead with barely any customers and other days it seems like everyone that passes by, usually without stopping, wants to come in and try the lunch buffet that really is available EVERYDAY of the week.

I guess the more life I live the more I realize that things come in waves and you just have to ride it out when things get rough, don't lose your compass, and when it is all over you will still be you and the world will go back to ticking away as it always has, normal...and your regulars will come in like they always do.

It is kinda like a test. Do you really want this job? Than you keep going. Do you really want this degree? Than you keep going even when all your papers are due the same day, your cat died and you lose your notes a week before the exam. Do you really want this person? Than you remember that when everyone else that usually walks by without stopping decides to make themselves available to convince you otherwise. Anyways, just some food for thought (haha food get it ;).

Blogging

So, my girls have been doing this blogging thing for awhile. Their bloggs are always so interesting and entertaining, I love reading them. At first I thought, muhh who can be bothered to blogg, simultaneously with, oh man if I get started I will just spill the contents of my brain onto this not so private blogg space, (this tends to happen when I start writing). But it just got more and more tempting and I couldn’t help it! I guess I will have to restrain myself from pouring the entire contents of my brain on to the blogg space. Thanks A and V for super interesting and funny bloggs and Z for always entertaining comments. I don’t know if my bloggs will be as entertaining as yours are girls but you never know….

Smile

It is the melding of worlds,
we meet somewhere new and you bring your world and I bring mine.
Mingling flavors- just as long as the music lasts,

And then there is silence
and there is nothing left but the sound of your slowing heartbeat.

But your smile can light up the dark and hold me still,
and I can't help but smile at how quickly I can forget that just an hour ago I was sitting alone working on plans of world domination that always seem to fail,
I would give up, but since we've had such fun tonight I can start again tomorrow.